Motherhood 101: The Detour

Marriage spelled a new chapter in my life. New dreams; new plans; major decisions to come up with; a new me to unfold right before my very eyes. Yes, I somehow believed that there will be ups and downs but never imagined the magnitude of the down parts could be great that they would actually end up redirecting some of our plans. Naively, I thought, a newly married couple's bliss would be a cycle of petty fights followed by a succession of dreams coming to life one after another. I guess this was how I subconsciously spelled out happily ever after.

Two weeks after my D&C procedure for my second miscarriage, I'm realizing the down times are not simply composed of petty fights. Some down times can be large inkblots on a page they have the potential to destroy the promise of a beautiful story. I guess, if life was a book and this miscarriage is an inkblot in a page and I choose to stare on it again and again, I could conclude that the book is indeed ruined. But, I'm choosing to turn the page.

Some may think it's tragic or that we're kawawa or it's depressing that a year and a half into marriage and this is what we are encountering as we try to grow our family. I won't deny that. It would be a lot better if I could get pregnant easily and carry our baby into term and see our family grow without getting heartbroken because of these miscarriage encounters. But, the fact is, things happened otherwise, we need to accept the circumstances and move on.

Tomorrow will be another page for us. My OB says I might need some workup and she's already recommended me to a colleague specializing in infertility to work on my case. I surely never expected I would be meeting with such a doctor in my lifetime. Well, I never expected a lot of the things that happened in the past few weeks. This is certainly life-curbing... Nevertheless, tomorrow will also mark a major moving on for us. Our inkblots are already there, un-erasable and undeniable, but I have faith that the promise of a beautiful story is also there, un-erasable and undeniable.


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Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" 

Supplier Review: Bridal Makeup

There are reviews worth a thousand words but this is NOT that kind of review. In this case, I'll let the picture do the talking. Meet Cheryl, my churchmate and my ever-fabulous makeup artist. She's one of my suppliers that's truly God-sent. ;)

BRIDAL MAKEUP: Cheryl Cabanos
GRADE: 9/10

The grade? Pretty obvious why, I guess. I love, love, love the "no makeup look" and Cheryl perfected it. It's also my first (and I guess, last) time to try airbrush makeup and I liked the fact that Cheryl prides herself in doing a complete airbrush makeup, from foundation to eye shadow to lipstick minus the finishing touches of course.

To say that makeup is Cheryl's passion is, I guess, an understatement. Cheryl loves being a makeup artist. She has CCMA, Cheryl Cabanos Makeup Academy, and does cinema makeup effects as well.

Supplier Review: Bridal Wear

So I decided to continue my reviews even if its been months since our wedding. We're now into our 8th  month and a lot has happened and a lot is still happening. :) After someone commented on my first supplier review, I'm suddenly encouraged to continue on with this, no matter how late this maybe. After all, this post could still be of use to other bride-to-be's out there, especially those that doesn't want to sacrifice the quality because of the budget-constraints.

BRIDAL WEAR: Couture House
GRADE: 8/10

First of, I really believe that what a bride wears on her wedding day is her personality... gown-ified (if ever such a word exists...) What I mean is whatever the bride wears is a reflection of who she really is. Yes, the supplier is the one who actually creates but the final output is really more of the bride's concept. That is why it is very important that more than anything, a bride should get a couture that understands her: taste, budget-constraints, concerns, etc. With that said, here is a picture of my gown:

We got Couture House for a number of reasons: accessibility, friendliness of the staff (Ms. Leni the store manager) and willingness to work with my budget and design. I'm giving Couture House an 8 because I never expected the service I got for the budget I have. Seeing the finished gown, I can see that they did not skimped out on the material. Add to that the fact that they adorned it with more rhinestones than I expected just to give the gown the right sparkle to highlight me as the bride. They also provided me with on-the-day services that other suppliers don't provide when they're working on a very tight budget (a budget way below the usual amount they work on...) The add-ons such as bridal pouch and veil were also of quality.

The 2 points I took off the perfect score was for the fit of the gown. My gown was not snugly fit to me. I admit that part of it was my fault since by my 3rd fitting, scheduled a month before the wedding, I gained weight so the Couture House staff advised me to go on a diet while also promising that they would make some adjustments to the gown. No more fitting followed and on the day itself, the gown was a bit loose on the waist area, but not so loose that it would actually show in the pictures.

Overall, I was satisfied in getting the services of Couture House. They understood me and exerted a more than satisfactory effort on my gown.

The Misadventures of O and J : Prenup

We approached our prenup shoot differently, O and I. Having nothing but an idea, a makeup artist and a photographer, I was nervous in anticipation of the day while O viewed it excitedly as an adventure. You see, we both agreed that we wanted our shoot to be something that displays who we really are so we wanted it to show (as much as possible) our daily routine as a couple. The problem is our daily routine involves a lot of MRT rides and walks in Makati.

For people who has planned any kind of photoshoot, they'll most likely agree that Metro Manila is not the friendliest place for photographers. To be able to capture something with your DSLRs you have to have permits and permits costs you money, sometimes, A LOT of money. With our "practical sides" kicking in, we went ahead with the shoot with no permits whatsoever, just a vaguely cooked plan :P 

We started D-day at about 9am. After I got made up and O got powdered up, we made our way to our first pitstop/location. After seeing Gail, O's talented brother and our photographer from Foreveryday Photography, O said a quick prayer for the day's events. We then started the shoot. 

The day brought us a lot of nice and quirky revelations. O and I both learned that we are capable of smiling at the camera while on the look out for people who might tell us off. We also learned we are all capable of acting, especially if it will prevent you from being caught. I realized that passersby are the coolest background for a "dramatic" shot. O sensed I get stressed out by strangers looking at us while the shoot goes on while I pointed out to O that he gets a bit conscious when he knows the cameras are snapping away. The greatest find however is seeing that O and I still manage to bring out the nicest smiles and sweetest looks even with the things that surround us JUST because we're with each other. 

More of our one-of-a-kind adventure/prenup here :)

The Misadventures of O and J: MRT Street-Preachers

J (with matching kalabit) : Kuya, medyo kulang kasi… baka kelangan mo idagdag ung Romans 6:23…

O : Hindi parang ung sa showtime na lang… Hmmm… Nakita ko naman ung passion kaso parang nakulangan ako sa message. Kulang ung Romans 6:23. At dahil dyan, ito ang score mo (with matching pindot sa invisible score board)

THIS is O and I’s conversation during a supposedly mundane, sleep-fulfilling MRT turn back ride became a preach-filled ride from Taft all the way to Boni (or was it Shaw?).

On our way home yesterday, O and I encountered street preachers in the train. No, they’re not the ones that would give an envelope in the end just to ask for money. These street preachers are the hard core, hard after GodHISHSdgs, shame-shattering ones that just strike anywhere in the hope that people will listen and think and ask and finally, come. With their loud voices filling the coach, naturally, they got my attention so much so that O and I ended up having a discussion about what they actually preached and how we think they could improve our teaching. (Oo… critic ang peg namin :P)

At one point in our discussion, we actually dared each other to tell one of the preachers about our feedback. I thought of giving the preacher a letter or discreetly telling him about what we think but, as we were both shy, we opted not to. And thus, my entry here... I decided, I would tell them in a letter that I would write here:

Dear MRT Street-preachers,

First off, allow me to say I was blessed by your presence yesterday while I was going home. It’s my first time to encounter people sharing God in a public place with no money involved. It somehow reveals to me a level of purity in your heart.

I can’t imagine just how much you must overcome to talk about God to a coach full of commuters who may or may not give a damn. I respect you for doing what you do given that it’s actually hard for me to randomly share it even to the closest people I know. We’re opposites you and I but your boldness has given me both a challenge and an inspiration. But no, I still can’t do what you do.

Anyway, I actually wanted to write because I wanted to be of help (if this is any help at all… ). I don’t know how to break this in any manner so I guess I’ll just tell it to you straight. I think you have missed out the most important verse of all. Romans 6:23 will help you greatly. It’s the verse to note for evangelistic purposes.

It was a great speech, the one you gave yesterday. But, I think, you have missed out the greatest thing of all: salvation. Yes, you talked about the greatness of God’s love and yes, you talked about the days to come. But, you forgot to talk about WHY Jesus is the way and WHY people need Him. My husband and I believe you should have started with Romans 6:23 and from there branched out to your speech.

I hope you don’t get offended by this. We really, really just want to help. After all, it’s the lost we’re all after.

I hope you continue on what you do. And we will send a prayer your way.

May God bless you in your ministry.

Regards,

J

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For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus, our Lord – Romans 6:23   

Supplier Review: Venue/Caterer

It's been 53 days since our wedding and until now, we're still in the process of establishing routines. Now, I'm getting acquainted with a lot of things especially the wifey side of me that it's been a busy time ever since. Initially, it was really my plan to write reviews about our suppliers days after the wedding but everything else took over.

Now, I finally decided to put some reviews up thinking that maybe I could give out help to whoever might need it. I'll be using a 10-point grading system with 10 as the highest and will be dividing my reviews in a per supplier basis. So, here we go ;)

VENUE/CATERER: Bella Ibarra/Ibarra's Catering
GRADE: 9/10

When we started to look for venues we never initially considered Ibarra's party venues. Looking back, I really don't know why but maybe it's partly because the venue is tied with a caterer and somehow, we wanted freedom. When we decided to book Bella Ibarra, it was after we realized we wanted to prioritize the food more than the venue. Ibarra the caterer has been around for years and judging from the way their business grew, you could say they were doing something great to have grown that way.

The deal with Ibarra was really more of a hassle-free package. When you get them, you get catering, place setup, bridal car, cake, photobooth, LCD projector, mobile and other such details. O and I decided to book them because they're sulit. For people who are too critical about details, they'd probably advise you to avoid hassle-free packages for weddings as you would end up sacrificing the quality. Ibarra's hassle-free package is no such thing except for one outsourced supplier thus, the grade of 9.

We had the ceremony at the rooftop of Bella Ibarra while the reception was held at the 2nd floor function hall. On the day itself (and looking at the pictures after), the place was elegantly setup that you could actually say that weddings are really their business. But maybe, for these, I think pictures could articulate it more.

Ceremony Setup

Reception Setup

The food was without a doubt, masarap. All our guests craved about it even weeks after the wedding. O and I liked this fact very much as we were very particular about this. As wedding guests before, it's really the food that you would remember (good or bad) and hearing the good feedback was a breather. This made the sulit package of Ibarra more sulit.  

Some of the food during the reception

The Misadventures of O and J : Surigao

We just came from our supposed-honeymoon from Surigao. Supposed, because it never pushed through right after the wedding due to bagyong Pablo. As a background, we elected Surigao as our supposed-honeymoon destination because of this deal. We wanted to experience the over-the-water bungalows ala El Nido but didn't want to splurge thus, Surigao. 

The trip to Surigao was a pleasant surprise. We ended up exploring Sohoton, which is actually, a national park. In truth, we didn't know what to expect from the place until about a week or two before we got there. The experience was all about eco-tourism and admittedly, it was quite new for both O and I. While it would be nice to share every experience we had, this is not really why I wanted to write. 

The trip to Sohoton is composed of a 2 hour van ride from Surigao Airport to Hayanggabon Port and a 40-minute boat ride from Hayanggabon Port. The site going to Sohoton was very much a disappointment as opposed to when you are actually in Sohoton. About 2 or 3 kilometers from the Hayanggabon port, you'll start encountering muddy roads with the coastline surrounded by brown waters. The rivers you'll be passing by are also brown in color. The mountain was stripped bare of trees that you'll actually mistake it for a rather large heap of reddish brown soil. O and I were curious about the sight but innocently enough, I thought the sight was simply because of the rain.

On Hayanggabon port, we boarded our boat to Sohoton and our tour guide satisfied our curiosity. He told us (without our asking) that the waters and the land is as what we see because of mining. I'm not much of an environmentalist but hearing what our tour guide said, I could not help but think about what's the government actually doing and if the government knows this large of a damage. It was really a bothersome sight that on our way home, I wanted to write about this before anything else. Hoping that in this way, I could do my share (no matter how little).

  

The so-called Red "Mountain"

The water in Hayanggabon Port

The Misadventures of O and J : Best Laid Plans

O and I just booked our 2nd to the last supplier today. Booking them left me amused. See, this planning of ours has a recurring theme that leaves me amused and somehow, relieved.

Whenever O and I gear up to find a wedding supplier, we do extensive research. Of course, it's always our goal to find what fits our budget but delivers the best quality that fits our taste. Then, after weeks of research, we narrow it down to the top two or three suppliers that we think best. We further our research and try to decide among our choices BUT at the last minute that we're about to decide, we give each other bouts of second thoughts and end up finding another supplier in a much shorter time that fits our criteria to a T. 

Yes, this was how we were able to book our place, our caterer, our preps venue as well as how we found our house.

On our way home, I mentioned this to O and how I found it amusing. He, on the other hand, pointed out how everything shows God's workmanship and how God always makes His best plans prevail.

Amazing! God is surely amazing!   

The Misadventures of O and J : Words of Wisdom

After lunch, O and I went to his workstation to look at something over the net. As we were browsing the net, I accidentally but lightly touched his stomach to which he let out a loud “aray!”. He told me he had some bruise in that area and it still hurts. He continued on describing why it hurt and ended up saying “Pag unprepared ka, masasaktan ka”. We ended up laughing at what he said.

Pasa ba talaga ang pinag-uusapan?! Seems like a fitting warning for a heartbroken first-time lover. :P

The Misadventures of O and J : Dumbfounded

So it's my dad's birthday today (haberday daddy! :D) . I volunteered to buy the ice cream. Going home, O and I stopped by the grocery store. We lined up by the green cart lane as we only had 2 items in tow. The line was frustratingly long (at least in my own point of view...) for a transaction that involved only 2 items but as I already promised this at home, I had to fall in line. I looked at the big cart lanes for a possible option but as I was already hungry and tired, I was unable to gauge which would be faster for us. In short, we stayed where we are. I happened to remember glancing at my watch that time, it said 8:00.

So we tried to patiently wait for our turn, chatting our time away to produce the illusion of shortening it. True enough, by about 8:15 (mind you, that's already long for 2 hungry people), we found ourselves third from the cashier. We were still chatting and still waiting for our turn feeling relieved we were almost there when out of a sudden someone tapped me by the shoulder. O and I turned around to see who it was. "It" was a quite old lady (about 50 or so I guess... ) showing her shampoo sachets in hand who apologetically asked "Pwede ba akong makisingit?". O and I were actually dumbfounded. After the initial shock, I said, "Sorry po, nagmamadali din po kasi kami. Birthday ng dad ko." The lady went away (and I actually saw she went to someone else in the line but was again denied, so she went to look for a lane with a shorter queue... )

After we were done and as we went to the transport terminal, we talked about the old lady. We were trying to think of other ways we could have handled it. I ended up wanting to say this "Pwede ko naman po kayo pasingitin kaso po paano naman sila?" while pointing to the others in the line. O wanted to handle it in a different way. He wanted to say "Gusto nyo po magbotohan na lang po kaming lahat kung pasisingitin namin kayo o hindi?" then turns to the other people in the line for their vote. We ended up both laughing.

Haayyyy... People! They never cease to amaze me and how they feel they're always exempted from the social order of things...