It’s the second week of 2016 and our church has just finished prayer and fasting the week before. It has been an annual activity for O and me to join our church in our start-of-the-year, corporate prayer and fasting. Along with that, we write down our faith goals for the year before the start of prayer and fasting. Personally, for me, this gives our prayer and fasting more direction as we bring to mind the things we, consciously or subconsciously, individually or as a couple, aspire for.
For the past years, when I pray and fast, I read God’s Word
as much as I can and from there, piece out what God is saying to me. This
worked for me for the past prayer and fasting activities because as I get to
understand the true meaning of God’s written word, I realize things about
myself that I need to pray for. That is why for our 2016 prayer and fasting, my
expectations were pretty much the same as the previous years: write down faith
goals, fast, read the Bible, get what God is saying in His word, pray about our
faith goals.
As I started my fast, I read God’s word hoping for
realizations to come. However, on the first night, after reading Job, I decided
to spend actual quiet time and seek out God. I decided to do so because I
wanted to hear a direct word from Him, something not written in the chapter I
just read.
As I closed my eyes, I cleared my thoughts and started
praising Him. Now, clearing my thoughts wasn’t exactly the easiest thing to do,
random things crept in and out of my mind continuously. Still, I decided to meditate
on Him and found myself asking for a word from Him. This lasted for a while:
praising God, fighting back my thoughts, disciplining myself to meditate on Him
and asking for a word.
God, however, did not give me a word or a bible verse as
encouragement for the things I am praying for that night. Instead, He led me to
lay all the things I want to happen in my life before Him, making me let go of
my faith goals that has always been somewhat of a baggage that I bring whenever
I pray to Him. He made me realize that what I really need to do is to learn to
seek His presence, not for anything, but for His presence alone. He showed to
me that with His presence in my life, everything else would follow. He told me
that for 2016, I should seek more of His presence before anything.
Whenever it's the season of prayer and fasting, I have always
heard my pastors and churchmates say “to
seek God”. And, as I hear it over and over again, I guess it has become a
cliché for me. Yes, there is always that part of seeking God but how much of
the time I spend with God do I really spend seeking Him and how much do I spend
itemizing to Him the things I want to happen in my life. This is what God made
me realize (and corrected with me) in this year’s prayer and fasting: to see
that His presence is the sweetest prize I could ever hope to receive.
This is how God set my 2016. And it somewhat makes me
excited.
