Motherhood 101: The Detour

Marriage spelled a new chapter in my life. New dreams; new plans; major decisions to come up with; a new me to unfold right before my very eyes. Yes, I somehow believed that there will be ups and downs but never imagined the magnitude of the down parts could be great that they would actually end up redirecting some of our plans. Naively, I thought, a newly married couple's bliss would be a cycle of petty fights followed by a succession of dreams coming to life one after another. I guess this was how I subconsciously spelled out happily ever after.

Two weeks after my D&C procedure for my second miscarriage, I'm realizing the down times are not simply composed of petty fights. Some down times can be large inkblots on a page they have the potential to destroy the promise of a beautiful story. I guess, if life was a book and this miscarriage is an inkblot in a page and I choose to stare on it again and again, I could conclude that the book is indeed ruined. But, I'm choosing to turn the page.

Some may think it's tragic or that we're kawawa or it's depressing that a year and a half into marriage and this is what we are encountering as we try to grow our family. I won't deny that. It would be a lot better if I could get pregnant easily and carry our baby into term and see our family grow without getting heartbroken because of these miscarriage encounters. But, the fact is, things happened otherwise, we need to accept the circumstances and move on.

Tomorrow will be another page for us. My OB says I might need some workup and she's already recommended me to a colleague specializing in infertility to work on my case. I surely never expected I would be meeting with such a doctor in my lifetime. Well, I never expected a lot of the things that happened in the past few weeks. This is certainly life-curbing... Nevertheless, tomorrow will also mark a major moving on for us. Our inkblots are already there, un-erasable and undeniable, but I have faith that the promise of a beautiful story is also there, un-erasable and undeniable.


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Romans 8:28 - "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose" 

When You Lose a Part of You

I've shared this already in FB. In a time when it all hurts, this video spoke of why we can always proclaim that God is good all the time. Yes, everything is a testimony but never lower the theology of God to fit the theology of your experiences.

God is good all the time! All the time, God is good!

Matanda Ka Na Nga

After browsing some UP fair ads (O wanted to watch and we wanted to check out the performing bands), this is what I realized… Matanda na nga ako.

 

UP Fair tickets now cost 120. During my time, it just costs 50, Feb 14 sometimes cost more, about 80. Also, at around 530pm, you’d see long queues at the gates for ticket sales, that is, if you don’t know someone from the hosting org/frat. But, the ads I saw clearly indicated that tickets are sold at SM ticket outlets. Sosyal. :D

 

A Note To Self

“Why are you downcast, O my soul?

Why so disturbed within me?

Put your hope in God,

for I will yet praise Him,

my Savior and my God” – Psalm 42:11

The prescription to a discouraged soul is casting everything that your heart feels to God and choosing to praise Him amidst what you are feeling. Your emotions may feel real right now but they should not redirect your future. Cry if you must but do not engage in self-pity. Shout if you must but do not hold on to the anger. Rest if you must but do not be content with inaction. The important thing is that your source of joy remains to be the God who has saved you over and over again.

Let's Go 2014

What are you hoping for this 2014? I'm sure we have something we're looking forward to this year and to help you have a more positive outlook, allow me to share these 3 verses God gave me during last week's PnF:

The plans of the heart belong to man, but the answer of the tongue is the Lord. All the ways of a man are pure in his own eyes, but the Lord weighs the spirit. Commit your work to the Lord and your plans will be established. - Proverbs 16:1-3

 .. and this is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him. - 1John5:14-15

Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass - Psalm 37:4-5

God is NO genie who will grant your every wish but for hearts who are sincere in loving, seeking and worshipping Him, He is more than willing to bless you beyond your imagination. And this is why it is my sincere hope that everyone will come to know and have the right kind of faith and relationship with God.

What are you hoping for this 2014? Whatever it is, I pray you put your hope in the one and true living God.

Supplier Review: Bridal Makeup

There are reviews worth a thousand words but this is NOT that kind of review. In this case, I'll let the picture do the talking. Meet Cheryl, my churchmate and my ever-fabulous makeup artist. She's one of my suppliers that's truly God-sent. ;)

BRIDAL MAKEUP: Cheryl Cabanos
GRADE: 9/10

The grade? Pretty obvious why, I guess. I love, love, love the "no makeup look" and Cheryl perfected it. It's also my first (and I guess, last) time to try airbrush makeup and I liked the fact that Cheryl prides herself in doing a complete airbrush makeup, from foundation to eye shadow to lipstick minus the finishing touches of course.

To say that makeup is Cheryl's passion is, I guess, an understatement. Cheryl loves being a makeup artist. She has CCMA, Cheryl Cabanos Makeup Academy, and does cinema makeup effects as well.

Do You Love Me?

Have you ever thought what would have happened to the church of God if Peter or Thomas or Paul lived today in our times? Do you think it would have greatly advanced like before if they lived now? Sometimes, I feel, maybe not.

Peter was a denier, Thomas was a doubter and Paul was an executioner and in these times where the Christians pronounce judgment left and right to believers and non-believers alike, I’m thinking that we could have greatly discouraged them. Truly, the greatest critic of the body of Christ is not the world but themselves.

 

As our walk in Christ deepens, we deepen in the knowledge of how to be a better person for Him. We strive to apply this knowledge, strive being the operative word. But, sometimes, I feel, we greatly misuse this knowledge in that we end up using it as a measure for our brothers and sisters in Christ. The knowledge He reveals to us does not give us the license to judge others but empowers us to share His word.

We are still imperfect beings even though we have come to know God. But, our imperfections and others’ imperfections is not the one that determines who gets to go for God and who does not. It is our heart. Jesus emphasized this on John 21:15-19. It is in loving Him that we are propelled to serve Him not our character or our tenure or our maturity or our trainings or anything in between.